Born to Be Hanged: The Epic Story of the Gentlemen Pirates Who Raided the South Seas, Rescued a Princess, and Stole a Fortune
By: Keith Thomson / Narrated By: Feodor Chin
Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
When pillaging and mayhem are… hiLARious…!
It’s like this, see. Both Big Sis and I listened to this ooooh, near’bouts the same time. Me? As a lover of History, I loved Born to Be Hanged, and I was really quite impressed that author Keith Thomson managed to gather suuuuch ooooold source materials, weed through it all, and then weave tales that were QUITE engaging. To say I was entertained? Oh inDUBitably! But how would Big Sis come outta this? After all, she’s kinda sorta hardcore Sciences and Technology… and Magical Realism, cuz you see, she’s well-rounded like that. History? Uhm, never heard her mention a desire to get down into any of that ilk.
Imagine my delight, then, when we came together and were both laughing uproariously. I mean, no way around it: This is one truly rollicking rip-roarin’ jaunt extraordinaire.
Thomson taking what could be dry near-ancient history and making it a gas? Check. Tongue firmly planted in cheek and following facts with little twists on facts… juuuust to put things in perspective? Oh DOUBLE check! Example offhand: Captain Sharp avidly declaring a rather stunning indigenous king is Oh GOD at least 100-years old!!! Follow that bit up with an: It should be noted that all Buccaneers were known for imbibing… like CRAZY… on a daily basis. Who KNOWS what reality was because at the time they were all most likely beYONd loaded.
1680 and Buccaneers are on the loose, on shore leave. Impoverished gentlemen see them, listen to their tales of swashbuckling and treasure, and they start to look around themselves: Things ain’t goin’ so hot hereabouts. Or p’raps a gentleman farmer is DESperately on the straight-and-narrow, but falls in with the wrong crowd and: GOSH, those tales of easy Pieces of Eight (Look it up, or better yet: Listen to the book!) are just sooo enticing. And thus, into these tales of over 300 Pirates, we can add our gentleman Buccaneers, and from Basil Ringrose, and William Dampier, and Lionel Wafer, meticulous journals are started as they all take to the high seas, looking for Spanish gold to plunder.
What makes this all so inCREDibly enjoyable is that each and every skirmish is chronicled, and lemme tell ya: Mishap after Mishap after MISHAP occurs, and somehow, someway, even tho’ there’s death Death DEATH aplenty, there are bedraggled men to root for. Somehow, someway, these shabby messes o’ men become kinda sorta heroes of the tales. As they slog through jungles and constant horrific rainstorms complete with flashes o’ lightning and claps o’ thunder, you rather hope they’ll make it through to their NEXT mishap. As the group of marauders are outnumbered 1000 to 1, you rather wonder how (IF) any will make it to THEIR next mishap (And lemme add, that whilst surrounded, it just tickled me pink how there was quibbling, dickering, and hurt feelings that had to be gotten outta the way before tactics could be sussed out).
My Sis pointed out that narrator Feodor Chin’s Spanish was atrociously mangled; this I did not notice as I’m hopeless in the foreign languages department. But we both agreed that, once getting over that, adjusting one’s ability to grit teeth and bear it, Chin delivered Thomson’s wry writing, the vastly humorous asides, with just the right verve and wit. Wafer boldly agrees that: Should any of a breakaway group of Pirates not keep up on a trek, they’ll be summarily shot (Lest they be captured and tortured for info by vengeful Spaniards). Yesss, he’s smug about it. But whoopsie: A MISHAP!!! occurs and his knee is sore done-for. Oh goodness, grin grin wince in utter agony grin grin OUCH almighty, and he’s feeling pretty dashgummed sheepish and, indeed, fearful as all get-out as he stumbles and scurries and desperately tries NOT to be shot. Chin delivered that entire episode to where we were braying with laughter as we recalled it. DeLIGHTful!
You looking for Piratical yarns that go beyond swashbuckling adventure and go heavy on the characters? Look no further. You looking for a bit o’ History that ain’t the usual, that maaaybe is a wee bit on the danged-near ANCIENT side? Right here. You looking for an author who knows how to take starting source material and spin it on its head all while remaining true to the sources, and for a narrator who miiiiight mangle Spanish but who reeeally knows how to deliver knockout laugh out loud punches?
Oh good golly gosh.
Born to Be Hanged is it. Laughed so much m’ freaking jaws hurt… and that, dear friend, is quite a worthy feat!
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