Claus: Legend of the Fat Man
By: Tony Bertausky / Narrated By: James Robert Killavey
Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
I wanted to like it, really I did!
But what am I supposed to do with this, Claus? Over on Audible, it's categorized as for young teens, but really, I'm not sure that even they would get into it. There's not enough action to engage listeners, and there's not enough depth to engage older listeners. Ditto on the humor, ditto on the lack of cleverness.
There's plenty in this audiobook that wants to be clever. There's even "science". Reindeer are genetically modified for great stamina and speed. There are time-stopping devices (make ya able to go 'round the planet, all in one night). Even Frosty makes an appearance though he's not a snowman; rather, he's a gravitational sphere that turns into an "Abominable" able to take on attacks.
Still, it's a Christmas book, right? That right there should guarantee that I like it. But I just couldn't. There is also the fact that Killavey narrates this in robotic tones. He sounds like a bored anchorman. Until he does dialogue: He really throws himself into each and every character, infusing them with life and emotion. So good! But then he switches to the main narrative and BAM! Boredom City. It made for some truly tedious going, I tell you. I zoned out so often, had to backtrack on the app to hear what I'd missed, I totally lost count.
I'm sure some people would like Claus, and more power to 'em. It does have a bit of action; it does have explanations galore; it does have Killavey when he's doing dialogue. So there's that. But I think Bertauski would've done better to develop the characters a bit more. We don't really care that Nicholas Santa is faced with losing all his memories; we don't really care that his son has to be turned into an elf to survive; we don't really care whether the elf named Claus lives or sacrifices himself. And our antagonist, Jack, is just plain silly. We don't really care about his evil plans either (he wants to turn Santa, a warmblood, into a plague-carrying receptacle, able to wipe out humankind. Ho-hum).
If you're totally hard up for a Christmas book, then you might give this audiobook a try. If, however, you have a chance to scroll through an audiobook seller's wares, for heaven's sake--find something else! The only thing worse than a waste of money is a waste of time. And I blew it on both, this go-round.
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.