Darkly Dreaming Dexter

Series: Dexter, Book 1

Written and Narrated By: Jeff Lindsay

Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins

An intelligent, TOTALLY twisted man surrounded by death, mayhem, and idiots

Full disclosure? I never watched the TV series “Dexter” as I never watch TV (Seriously. I do the National Nightly News, and that’s IT—more than enough blood, guts, hatred, and mayhem for me!!!). No, really! It’s all audiobooks, all the time, and that couldn’t make me a happier camper.

So I went into Darkly Dreaming Dexter as a complete non-initiate. I kinda sorta knew a bit about the whole plot—a serial killer protagonist, a sister in law-enforcement who ferrets out killers, Miami PD; that sort of stuff. And I TOTALLY got thrown by the Wikipedia entry (I had to look it all up cuz I didn’t know if the sister was Deborah or Debra) as it turns out the TV series went on to have episodes that didn’t relate to the books author Jeff Lindsay wrote. ANYway! I thought I’d be in for 7 hours and 51 minutes of intelligent characters who just didn’t have a clue.

Well, I was right about the ‘not having a clue’ part. The intelligent characters? NOT so much.

Oh, don’t get me wrong: Dexter’s VERY intelligent—very self-aware, able to judge people and situations handily, can infuse himself with just the right amount of personality so that people haven’t a clue that he’s a twisted killer. And such all.

It’s just that he’s surrounded by idiots. Lindsay crafted an EXCELLENT character with his creation of Dexter, but the story fails when it comes to Every. Single. Other character. EsPECially foster sister Debra! Yeesh! I so totally wanted to throttle her.

It’s like this, see: There’s a killer targeting hookers, and he’s cutting them up and leaving the body parts in various dump sites in Miami. Dexter’s foster sister Debra, who most unhappily works Vice, VERY much wants in on the action, is POSITIVE that she was MADE to work homicide. And she screeeeeeches at Dexter throughout the ENTIRE book that he neeeeeds to help her with his preternatural insights into homicidal characters. And never mind the fact that he’s a blood spatter expert, EVERYone views Dexter as all-knowing (And ya know? I very MUCH wondered why Lindsay wrote an introductory book where there’s absolutely NO blood to be assessed. I mean, didn’t anybody wonder why Dexter kept popping up, kept interjecting himself into crime scenes when he obviously was NOT needed? Seems to me that Lindsay coulda written an intro to the character where the character was in action, no? But maybe that’s just me…?).

Everybody comes to Dexter. Everybody deMANDS information and insight. They’re all bumbling idiots.

And that starts to wear the listener down.

Sure, Dexter is written as a funny and intelligent character, with funny and intelligent insights into ‘normal’ human behavior. Yeah, all of that is entertaining. But all the other characters? And oh my GOD how I wanted to throttle Debra! Jeff Lindsay narrates his own work (And his deep voice rather reminded me of William Peter Blatty narrating his own The Exorcist in that it made me think that certain authors are just absoLUTEly twisted and hilarious people!). And the way he has Debra screeching profanity and accusations out at Dexter: He KNOWS stuff he’s not telling her! He’s not HELPING her! Why isn’t he HELPING her? and on and on and on. She has zippo insight into any of the murders, into the method of killing, into the placement of body parts. She has nothing. Good gosh, she’s a character who deSERVes to be stuck in Vice as she’s an imbecile!

Yet Dexter helps her, guides her, is patient with her bellowing, despite the fact that he’s incapable of feeling empathy, of feeling anything at all. The only feeling he can ever muster is for the killer, a killer who might be targeting HIM. There are dark dreams, desperate urges. And the listener isn’t sure about what’s going on by the time we get to the last few chapters.

Come to Darkly Dreaming Dexter for Dexter and his crazed and bloody tendencies. DEFinitely stay for Lindsay’s twisted and hilarious narration.

But for crying out loud, DO expect to wanna throttle his sister, his girlfriend, the detectives…