Hollow Kingdom
Series: Hollow Kingdom, Book 1
By: Kira Jane Buxton / Narrated By: Robert Petkoff
Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
The Zombie Apocalypse… With Bird and Bloodhound!
Whenst getting ready to set this review up, my sister asked if Hollow Kingdom would be under the category of Kids or of Teens…
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I totally snorted several guffaws as this book is definitely NOT for kids! This isn’t a sweet Animals book but is rather a profane jaunt through the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse as told to us by ST, a rather profane crow. ST, let it be known, is short for S**t Turd—he was named by the MoFo (human) Big Jim. All ST knows comes from either watching Cable TV or from spending quality…. er… QUANTITY time with Big Jim— the man who dubbed all humans as MoFos, the man who has a high-powered rifle named Sigourney Weaver, the man who subscribes to “Big Butts” magazine. Naturally, this means that ST’s take on the world is rather, uhm, how does one describe it? Yes, let’s stick with “profane”, shall we?
The story opens with Big Jim’s eyeball popping out of the man’s socket, and with Dennis the bloodhound’s darned near scarfing the glistening and rolypoly orb. ST zooms into action, saving the eyeball, picking up the slack now that Big Jim’s a drooling and near-catatonic mess. ST can’t stand it: He gathers the depressed Dennis (Who’s very much missing his master) by calling to him in a mimicked Big Jim voice, and together the two set off to find MoFos unaffected by the new and nasty affliction. ST LOVES MoFos, believes that he himself is more than half MoFo, practically ALL MoFo, and just knows that there are unaffected MoFos out there who will have all the answers.
But Hollow Kingdom is more than a quest. It’s a battle between good and evil, between nature and what MoFos have done to nature. ST is challenged time and time again to be less MoFo, be more Crow—something he fights against mightily as to him, MoFos are all that is good, pure, and creative. Boy, does he have THAT wrong. It turns out the virus that has hit all MoFo-kind came through the insatiable neeeeed for technology. Turns out that cell phones have turned deadly.
All right, all right! So maybe the book isn’t technically a 5-star rating, as I’ve dubbed it to be. Maybe all the depth that’s in it: Building Trust, Finding your own true way, Love and respect, Grief and loss, are tainted just a tad because the “person” who’s doing all the soul-searching is one specTACularly SASSY crow! Even the most tender of realizations has the F-word thrown in because ST just can’t help himself. But, oh I dunno, I was VASTly entertained, chuckled merrily even as I dabbed a small tear or two away. To me, Hollow Kingdom was irresistible. Gimme a smart-talking misinformed crow, and gimme an adorably bumbling bloodhound, and I’m THERE!
Robert Petkoff’s narration is damned near perfection, and I s’pose that’s what might keep others from seeing the book in a 5-star light. Even as ST makes profound discoveries, he’s ALWAYS just sooo danged lowbrow! But he can’t help it, you see: The crow was raised by a man who lives on Tinder and Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Petkoff captures every single F-word with such bewildered here, all-knowing there, angst. Then too, the book is peopled by, well, decidedly NOT-People. Petkoff manages birds, dogs, cats (Genghis Cat, anyone?), armadillos, polar bears, cows, camels, possums; you name it, and Petkoff does it, even turning in a delightful Scottish accent when the cow calls for it.
Despite the horrors of the zombie apocalypse, the blood, the gore, the amputation and eating of limbs, and despite the horrors of the war between Domestics and the Wild Ones, and despite the last-ditch must-survive-at-any-cost evolution of MoFo-kind, Hollow Kingdom winds up being a sweet and hopeful book. The end left me with a lump in my throat, a chuckle in my soul, and dare I say it:
It even left me with Hope for a Sequel…!!!
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