Never Buy a Raccoon at a Gas Station: Life Lessons for Children of All Ages
Written and Narrated By: Beth Detjens
Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
Okay so, like, do NOT try this at home…!
First off: Do NOT make a raccoon a pet if ya live in a city or an apartment or an urban hovel. That raccoon is Wildlife and should be some place it can scurry and pilfer and find shiny shiny objects all in the course of its day, er… Night…
Second: I’ve always been fond of raccoons, especially after spying one tottering off on its hind legs, holding a cat food bowl in its awesome hands.
But that was BEFORE Blanche and David, when they were still homeless, and the two (Especially protective Blanche) had to fight to keep the food I served them, getting attacked by hungry raccoons, jumped from behind, even as I fleeeeew out to stand guard over them.
Raccoons can be beasts when they want some dinner…!
Okay, now that THAT’S outta the way, lemme just say that this, Never Buy a Raccoon at a Gas Station, is a little (Barely 1 1/2 hours long) gem of an audiobook. Narrated by author Beth Detjens herself, I must say that it’s totally fanTAStic that the woman sounds like a little kid. Her childlike voice woulda been off-putting were it not for the fact that this is a series of recollections Detjens had of her childhood where her animal-loving father offered $25 for the sole-surviving baby from a hunter-shooting of the mom.
The family was animal-crazy on their lot of land, keeping a wiiiiide variety of domesticated animals, wild animals, exotic animals. It’s truly, well, not awe-inspiring, but mind boggling how the family did what they did. The veterinarian was good with exotics and domesticates, but when others needed surgery? Turns out that Dad did what he needed to do, studying techniques, giving it all that ol’-school-try. Again, do NOT try this at home.
This is a sweet reminiscence of the family’s days with a clever and personable raccoon they (NATurally!) named Bandit. Bandit got into EVERYthing, but he especially loved tormenting their (Oh so gracious) Mom. Mom had many a run-in with the ever-playful and plotting Bandit—who just seemed to know that Mom was the family member to torment, play jokes on. Whether it was surprising her by springing up from the passenger side of the car’s foot area (Hey there!), or it was surprising her and jumping on her back, pretending she was a bucking bronco, Bandit was THERE! Good thing Mom took it all in stride. (Plus, by the way: Did you know that a startled Raccoon whizzes buckets of foul-smelling urine? I did not… but it was something the family discovered right quick… and a traffic cop ALSO discovered that when he stopped their car as it zoomed down the highway, a pee-soaked shirt stuck to the bumper, airing out in the wind).
There’s not much to say about this as it’s sooo short, but it was quite a pleasure to listen to, and it kinda sorta made me relax my Ack!-Raccoons! knee-jerk reaction (Which, having Blanche and David here at home now rather helped… I can be more gracious…!). And interspersed through Bandit’s many many hijinks are lessons Detjens learned about Life along the way.
The biggest lesson? After Dad set Bandit up with a tree-abode with bedding so that Bandit might stay at home or go into nature as he pleased? If you love something: Set it free.
Kinda bittersweet, but isn’t that the way Life is? Still, I won’t tell you what Bandit chooses to do after he’s fully embraced Nature, but it does indeed prove that Love is a constant. Even if it’s outdoors, even if you don’t see it everyday, Love makes a difference.
And who needs more than that?
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.