Once upon a Time in Russia: The Rise of the Oligarchs and the Greatest Wealth in History
By: Ben Mezrich / Narrated By: Jeremy Bobb
Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
Ben Mezrich ain’t no Luke Harding -but-
—I’ve only done one Luke Harding, so p’raps I’m being a bit of a twit.
I’ve been getting into all things Apocalyptic what with the world being one itty bitty bit aways from global catastrophe/complete societal breakdown/mass annihilation these days.
Or p’raps I’m just a weeee bit on edge, might be just me, dunno, but I’m pretty sure I ain’t the only one wondering what climate change catastrophe will occur the minute I flip a light switch, or what the grey man over at the Kremlin is gonna do next.
For this review, however, I s’pose I’ll limit my kvetching (And gnashing of teeth) and shall focus on Putin and shall wonder simply about all of Russia, shall I?
So I was hoping that Ben Mezrich’s Once Upon a Time in Russia was going to be a Tell-All about Russian oligarchs and that country’s version of a capitalist’s “Utopia” much as Luke Harding’s A Very Expensive Poison was a Tell-All about Russia’s system of assassination(s). Poison had all the rabbit holes of history gone down, all the asides concerning all things nuclear, plus it had Harding’s scathing dry wit and befuddlement. Plus, it had Nicholas Guy Smith as narrator…
I’ll start with the narration, I see. Jeremy Bobb sounds like a college-aged Frat boy… so there’s that. His tones are schoolboy-ish and he suffers from that flaw I personally find so offensive: He’s not European. Therefore, I felt the entirety of this audiobook to lack the gravitas its subject matter requires.
And was I the only person taken in by the: “The Rise of the Oligarchs”? Cuz, see, there’s my whole: Wondering about the wild days of soviet breakdown and surging demand/consumption and wealth amassment. Again, a bit of tooth-gnashing here as I went into this audiobook hoping it’d shed light on all those Superyachts being seized in our rather pathetic efforts to punish Russia and Putin’s backers of his invasion of Ukraine.
Alas, nope. This ain’t about them really, but it’s mostly about a single oligarch… with another kinda thrown in for good measure.
Get ready for a tale about the bumbling, fumbling, Uber-corrupt (And sooo NOT even-tempered) Boris Berezovosky. We get to hear about his early days as an impoverished kid and hear about his early days of learning to parlay a bit of money into real wealth… and then we see as he comes to have real power… and a real problem controlling his emotions and tantrums. Indeed, much of this audiobook starts feeling more like a “True to Life” historical novel-ish turn at writing, what with Berezovosky’s ubiquitous outbursts suddenly given words that the man may or may not have said whilst pitching said fit(s).
This ain’t no Erik Larson history. Mezrich appears to have no problem about putting words in all the entities’ mouths, fleshing out possible discussions characters had, thoughts that miiiiiight’ve been going through their minds. You know, ilk o’ that sort. Soooo unlike Larson who always states: If he has a person smiling, or holding their hand in such and such a way? It’s cuz, dude! that’s the way it happened, and he has historical facts he’s upholding.
Mezrich doesn’t give a fig about that, and his efforts suffer for this.
But that’s m’ own extreeeeme love of history rearing its nitpicking head, and I’ll just hush up right now, shall I? and go onto what is enjoyable?
Ooooooh, does the rise of Putin seem like a dream turned nightmare, or what?! I found it fascinating the way Mezrich posits that the oligarchs chose a beige-sorta guy, a middling nobody, a mediocre nonentity to fill in for the final days of Yeltsin’s presidency in an effort to secure a mousy man power come the next election cycle. SURELY, they posited, THIS little guy will feel beholden to us and will turn many a blind-eye to our wealth amassment even as we rob the country blind.
Uhm, how’d that work out for y’all. Because, they soon discover, Putin was NOT That Guy. And he mind-f***ks them most egregiously, basically making them kiss his ring and bow and scrape before him. Putin holds his meetings where Stalin notoriously exiled… or tortured then exiled/executed… problematic people. His statement is made…
But then we’re back on Berezovosky’s bumbling and we’re treated to his larger-than-life mouth spewing ill-advised things and, while it was entertaining? Well, I didn’t choose Once Upon a Time in Russia for m’ Library for entertainment; rather, I’d hoped to be enlightened. Okay okay okay: And p’raps a wee bit titillated. Maybe a nightmare or two? Harding’s book kept me awake at night, so I KNOW it’s possible!
Who’s this book for then? Well, anyone who wants a bit, just an itty bit, of a lesson or two, but who’s mostly in it for grins and chuckles. The second oligarch who’s discussed in this book seemed waaaay more interesting, his psychology more compelling, but alas, he’s only offered as the Man Who Bankrolls Berezovosky’s opulent lifestyle.
Yeh, I was somewhat entertained, but usually I can count on anything Soviet-era, or anything Russian to be vastly enlightening, and MOST unsettling. Can’t say that for this. Nope…
Gonna go back to Luke Harding for m’ hair-raising Real-Life NIGHTMARE Listening…
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