The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog

Written and Narrated By: Dave Barry

Length: 1 hr and 5 mins

Not laugh-out-loud funny and one part ticked me off, but there were a few smiles in the sweetness

Okay so, like, lemme just get the part that cheesed me off outta the way: The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog is a nostalgic look back at Christmas of 1960. As such, it has waaaay back then sorta sensibilities. As in: Author Dave Barry seems to think it’s oh soooo hiLARious that a buddy of his, and this is whenst they were all just kiddos, always shouts, “So & So! You are now on the LIST!!!” in front of all and sundry. The List, you ask? Well, it’s a loud, public, declaration and shaming of a young girl who is wearing her first bra. I dunno, but even beFORe #MeToo, I don’t think I would’ve found this funny. What’s wonderful about causing humiliation and embarrassment? I mean, yup! That’s how pervasive Boys Will Be Boys is in our societal past. So I checked, and the publishing date is 2008, and Barry has a daughter (I know this cuz the entire ending of Lessons from Lucy isn’t about the dog but is about almost losing his daughter), so one would think he’d opt for a more sensitive form of literary comedy.

No, really. Can you tell it disgusted me?

And now I’ll get over it all and tell you about the better parts, shall I?

There’s lots of stuff going on this Christmas of 1960 for young Doug Barnes. He’s slated to be a shepherd in the school Christmas pageant, he and his two friends (This after all three blew it the year before when they were the Three Wise Men. Got a good scolding from his folks, after they finished laughing). Turns out that THAT role isn’t going to be any easier this year as the three canNOT stay serious.

But all in the Barnes family are looking forward to Christmas.

Except for one huuuuuge thing: The family dog is ailing, like, bad. Frank has been with the family all of Doug’s life, and he’s very much loved. Especially by little sister Becky. The two, dog and little girl, have a bond beyond all bonds, so Mom and Dad are really worried. Plus, they love that old dog so much themselves. But Frank is just getting old, and there are no meds in the world, no therapies that will help a dog who’s just simply running down.

Alas, on the eve of the school pageant, Frank is discovered in the backyard, his body leaning against a tree, life gone from his much-loved form. And Mom and Dad don’t wanna tell Becky as she’s an Angel in the pageant, and Christmas is, well, toMORrow.

So the family splits into two cars with brother, sister, and Mom heading to the school, while Doug and Dad furtively take Frank into the other car. Dad’s plan? Take the body to the animal shelter cuz the ground is too frozen for a grave, and that’s pretty much as far as Dad’s thought.

Uhm, the shelter is closed, and as it turns out? They take in only LIVE animals, and this dead dog? Nope, whaddare ya, nuts?!

While there, as Dad and Doug woefully try to figure things out, the most rambunctious mutt in the world barrels out, tongue lolling, at least when it’s not licking the two all over the face. Spur of the moment, Dad looks at Doug, and the two decide: Looks like the Barrys have a new dog.

What? Too soon?!?

How will they tell Becky? What are they gonna do with Frank? And after they get a flat tire, will they even make it to the pageant, and is this Christmas just gonna be a bust, or what?!?

This is a shooooort little audiobook, and tho’ it’s somewhat dated and might be better for older listeners who might wanna remember the times as opposed to younger listeners who might not get some of the humor, it does indeed have it’s charming bits. Plus, Barry didn’t annoy me as a narrator, rather threw himself into the performance, and had no problem with adding joy, embarrassment (A common feeling for a boy that age), or drama when necessary.

Short, sweet, feel-good ending. And I’ll get over my sensitivities, shall I?

After all, not being a twitchy curmudgeon is kinda sorta the whole freaking point of the Holidays!