Until Tuesday

Written and Narrated By: Luis Carlos Montalvan

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Iraq, PTSD, physical disabilities, and Tuesday

This was the third time I’d listened to Until Tuesday, and it was the first time I’d listened to it since knowing how it all “ends”.

When I’d listened to the sequel, Tuesday’s Promise, I’d wondered why Montalvan didn’t narrate it himself only to discover that the man committed suicide. So, no—I won’t be reviewing that book… EVER… as it’s just too damned distressing. And the whole thing made listening to this audiobook almost too damned depressing.

Montalvan chronicles Tuesday’s history as a pup and young dog, one who suffered separation and abandonment, and that made the bond that he and the dog had so incredibly special. Tuesday needed Montalvan as much as Montalvan needed him. Tuesday was EVERYTHING to the man—service dog, yes, but the amount of trust, faith, and dependence he had with Tuesday turned the dog into his very best friend, a brother of sorts.

And then Montalvan goes off to El Paso, Texas and kills himself in a hotel, leaving Tuesday alone and abandoned once again, this time in a truly devastating manner (if you’re wondering, the woman who trained him at ECAD, East Coast Assistance Dogs, took him back in, which is but only very, very cold comfort).

This is a really good audiobook if you want to get some of the particulars of the horrors of war, of the nightmares that Montalvan lived with. It also highlights a lot of the challenges for members of the military returning from war and trying to make it in civilian life. It also totally shows what it’s like to have to live with/deal with physical disabilities on a day to day, even moment to moment basis.

When you listen to the audiobook, you can see why the man chose suicide: He lived in hell. And in Tuesday’s Promise, he even explains why he chose amputation to try to stop some of the horrific pain he suffered as part of his daily norm. After listening to it, there’s no question that the man was in mental, physical agony.

It’s just that with Tuesday at his side, I’d come away from the first two listens thinking some of the mental anguish was alleviated and that, perhaps, all of the spiritual anguish was dodged. His bond with Tuesday was spectacular. There was such love and trust between the two of them.

But, no. Not to be. And what’s worse is that Montalvan honestly, truly saw for himself a future in the country, with a wife and kids, with Tuesday ever at his side. It’s the way the audiobook ends: On that hope and dream.

And knowing what I now know of his demise, it only left me severely saddened.

By all means, give Until Tuesday a listen. Just be prepared to feel heavy doses of sadness along the way, heavy doses of a truly awful empathy.

RIP Luis Carlos Montalvan. And bless you wherever you are, Tuesday. May y’all see each other again…