What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
By: Randall Munroe / Narrated By: Wil Wheaton
Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
Dunno which I enjoyed more: Munroe’s crafty, hyper intelligent wit? Or Wheaton’s raucous BOOMs?
I tell ya. Randall Munroe, famed author of a sassy webcomic featuring stick figure drawings and outta this world questions, looooooves to make things go Boom. And with Wil Wheaton as narrator, make that, not so much Boom as BOOOOOOM!!!!!!
Cuz Munroe goes through his What If? Inbox to cull outrageous questions and, if they’re not outrageous enough? He’ll take that question and jack up his conjectures to the nth degree. If something can kill you as it’s going 1/2 the speed of light; well, why not have it going twice that? Let’s jack that up to the entire speed of light and destroy the Earth whilst we’re at it!
These are outstanding and hilarious and EYE-OPENING answers to some really thoughtful (Tho’ who on earth thinks like that, I dunno. Ooooh, maaaaybe Randall Munroe?!?) questions. I love the one of: What would happen if a batter hit a pitch going the speed light? Answer: Not good for the batter or those in the stands…
It turns out that by jacking things up, notch by noooootch, things can go KaBLOOOwey way fast. It turns out that Munroe likes it when things explode. He likes it when things have so much gravity that things cave in on themselves. He likes it when two little old men sit on a porch in the middle of a wheat field and get obLITerated by an entire storm coming down as a single humongous raindrop. He likes it when people swim in nuclear reactor water, tho’ he DOES caution against picking up stray objects on the pool’s bottom. But! as he stresses with each projection: Do NOT try this at home (Citation needed.... an inside joke!).
….hey, I didn’t ask the questions… there are some real weirdos out there…
Interspersed throughout these mind boggling answers are Weird and Worrying Questions from the What If? Inbox, which are truly hilarious answers to some creepy questions he’s received over time. Munroe is sassy, super duper smart, and it’s obvious that the man dearly loves a laugh.
Now on to Wil Wheaton (Usually found doing the honors for author John Scalzi…): Might I just say, AWEsome?!? At first, I noted what I’ve noted in all the Sci-Fi audiobooks he’s narrated. He kinda has dully smooth tones. But then we start getting into death, mayhem, dying stars, and hitting speed bumps at the speed of light, and the man shines like crazy. Wil Wheaton does not go boom; Wil Wheaton goes BOOOOM!!! with so very much dancing and laughing joy in his heart, seemingly channeling Munroe’s delight in having people scorched into cinders through superheated air caused by super compression following super speed. Wheaton can turn the planet being emptied of all oceans into the zaniest quest for super dominance by the Netherlands like nobody’s business.
To say I laughed myself silly, at this point, would be belaboring the point, yes? But let me add right here that this is no shallow romp. Munroe introduces exact mathematical equations backing up his projections that had me gobsmacked and drooling as I hastened to dissociate from my Traumatic Mathematical Past. I think my sister, the Math Genius, would totally be fascinated with the way his mind works, and so might you, be you so inclined.
If, however, you’re as I am: A Math Twit, fear not: It’s easy to do the Eyes-Glazed-Over thing even as you keep your wits open and aware.
Seriously, you won’t want to miss a thing!
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