You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope
By: Debbie Augenthaler / Narrated By: Sarah Naughton
Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
If you’ve lost a partner, or if you want a study in raw pain, this one’s for you
Debbie Augenthaler became a widow quite suddenly at 36-years of age. It was a shock, and it was a tragedy. And it was something that darned near killed her. You Are Not Alone is good if you’ve had a shock or trauma like that as she has a true way with conveying pain and despair through her words and memories of that horrible time in her life.
I admit it: I am so totally AWFUL at comforting those who are grieving. I just don’t know what to say, what to do, how to act. Truly, I’m wretched with the wretched. But through Debbie’s words here, she offers words not just to those who are grieving, but also to those who know someone who is grieving.
Granted, you have to get through some pretty raw writing/storytelling to get to those bits, but I know that relaying her own personal journey through death and grief makes for a nifty segue. She writes as though it just happened, only days ago, when actually it’s been decades. I s’pose we never really get over our losses; they’re always right there where we can stretch a fingertip or two and touch the grief, the pain, feel the sorrow. I’m sure telling her story, of the day her husband Jim died, to the days after, the choices that needed to be made, and to the months and even years after, was a good way to find healing. All the books I’ve come across lately tout journaling as a way to find solace after all.
But while you might find that such raw grief really speaks to you, there’s very little in the way of telling you, guiding you through the grief. It’s her story, plain and simple. We go through verrrrry lengthy descriptions of a certain part of that period of loss, and then it’s capped off with a line or two about what you can do about it. So while I found her writing captivating, I didn’t find much in the way of guideposts for my own journey through pain.
Also, this book is FULL of statements that another audiobook I started listening to DESPISES, as in: NEVER SAY SUCH THINGS TO A PERSON WHO IS GRIEVING!!! (Yes, ALL IN CAPS!!!). This book I’m talking about, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, goes to great lengths to say things like: “Of course you’re angry when someone says you’ll get through it and will be stronger. What do they mean? That you’re weak and that’s why this happened to you?” Things like that, all very anger-based. And in You Are Not Alone, Augenthaler finds such comfort when an intuitive healer tells her just that; she feels empowered by the statement, not angry. So I guess I STILL dunno what to say to someone who’s grieving.
Sarah Naughton does a fantastic job with narration as this is a desperately emotional book. Just a desperately EVERYthing book. She tells Augenthaler’s story with such vigor it’s painful and gut wrenching at times. Hell, MOST of the time! She definitely added to what was already a very good book.
I do suppose, however, that I’ve simply gotta stop listening to audiobooks on grief and get on with the grieving process. The way this book ends? Apparently there’s hope, y’all…!
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