You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams: My Life in Stories and Pictures
Written and Narrated By: Alan Cumming
Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
More Honey and for cripes sake: FEWER SELFIES!!!!
When Alan Cumming tells stories involving his dog, Honey, I was totally there. When, however, my mom and my sister pointed me to the PDF pics that come with the audiobook, I so totally was NOT. A >meh< book became completely and unutterably insufferable.
My mom said she chose the book for our audiobook club cuz she thought we’d get bawdy and hilarious stories about glamorous Hollywood and vibrant Broadway. Uhm, okay there’s a good little snippet of a story regarding Elizabeth Taylor, but for the most part? You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams is just one long, and I do mean loooooooooong, selfie.
You wanna feel like you have more time on this planet? Just listen to this book, and 3 hours and 19 minutes will make it feel like yeeeeeeeears have just gone by. Add to that really and truly horrifically BAD photography skills, and oh my! A Credit was used to purchase this audiobook? What a tragedy.
I looked at the pics, and they’re basically of body parts taken in really baaaaaad lighting. Sure, Cumming has a chapter on his life during The Night, but you see the photos, and you realize that there is one drunken party animal. Well, I dunno if he was loaded during all those party sessions, but judging from the (Did I mention that they’re really bad?) photos, like, say, one of toilet paper, and you kinda get that impression. Add to that SEVERAL pictures of feet, of nude chests, of butt cheeks and nipples. You get my drift?
Gimme more stories about the well-loved Honey. Maybe those weren’t super exciting, but at least there was some genuine warmth there. Because for the most part, Cumming seems like one super self-absorbed guy who just did this book because his publisher told him it would totally sell after Not My Father’s Son became a runaway hit. It just goes on and on about frivolous things and a certain sense of detachment, and the only thing I felt I could really say for sure was that the man haaaaaaates being asked for autographs or to be chatted up by other people not in his circle.
Like I said, get ready for a verrrrrrry long 3 barely + hours. And for the love of gosh, try not to gouge out your eyes as you (Quickly! Do it so QUICKLY!) scan the photos in the PDF.
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