The Halloween Tree

By: Ray Bradbury / Narrated By: Kirby Heyborne / Narrated By: Bronson Pinchot

Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins

Kirby Heyborne? Oops, sorry dude: Bronson Pinchot? Uhm, muuuuch better

Yikes!

Loved Heyborne doing Four-Four-Two; he was stellar in that! And as it would happen, the Kirby Heyborne version is the only narration available over on Audible. Whazza?! Why, I have the Bronson Pinchot version, but far be it from me to review what one cannot find? Except, uhm, I’ve done exACTly that before! But hey! it’s annoying when I do that, and hey again! love Kirby Heyborne so I purchased it to listen to.

And gosh did I doze, or what?!

Eight young boys off to dash around for Halloween Eve find that Pipkin the wonder friend is missing. Can they go on without him; is it even Halloween without his glorious presence? Young Tom Skelton thinks so, and they barrel on to a decrepit old mansion and dare to traipse in. Whilst there, they discover a huuuuuge Tree with a MULtitude of jack o’ lanterns dangling from the branches. An odd specter of a gentleman shows up, Moundshroud, and he beguiles them to link hands and become a tail for a Halloween kite, scooting up up and away for a journey through Time and Space. And whazzis? Shall they be seeking to help an ailing Pipkin as well?

Then venerable author Ray Bradbury has Moundshroud guiding the boys to ritual death and rebirth in ancient Egypt, where Osiris dies/is murdered each night only to come to life again the next morning, dies/is murdered each year only to come to life again in the Spring.

Then we’re off, with some gorgeous prose, to more explanations of Halloween/Death traditions throughout the world (Tho’ one reviewer called him out for not getting Samhain right, dunno m’self as I’m just as ignorant as the boys are about it all). ‘Twould appear that as each boy is costumed so go the lessons. One boy as a mummy? Off to Egypt. One boy a gargoyle? Off to medieval France. And so on and so on and so on.

Yep, is this a boring review or what? But good gosh, I fairly dozed m’self silly SEVeral times. Heyborne brings his usual enthusiasm here, but the high-pitched tones that suited WWII battle hysteria so well in his best performance just sounds shrill here. And dude, Mr. Bradbury, who can be a flowery writer, doesn’t even try to rein himself in, going total purple prose in the beginning (…snoooooze…) to where I kinda sorta just wanted to send a thwack across the Universe with an almighty: Do NOT put me to sleep! sort of admonition.

Add lesson upon lesson, and I was mightily bored. So I >gasp< RETURNED the audiobook, and I re-listened to the Bronson Pinchot version. Ahhhhhh, MUCH better. A triiiiifle hard to find but, seriously, if I’m going to be given a whole lot of history lessons about Halloween, I’ll sooo take Pinchot pulling out all the wonderful vocal acting stops.

Not m’ favorite Bradbury, gotta tell ya. Not m’ favorite Heyborne, gotta tell ya. So much better with Pinchot, but still lacking in the author’s usual childhood nostalgia that often has me desperately missing a childhood that I never had (How many of us HAVE really?!).

Still, if you’re out to teach your kids about other traditions, I s’pose this would be the way to do it.

EsPECially if you want your children to learn how to use impressive word-smithing to completely overwhelm a reading audience. Seriously, snoooooze…